Uh, moving on a whim forever!


I preach selfcare yet I fuck it up.

I made a post a while back about the things I do to prevent a relapse.  Well, I stopped having time to do those things, and since I was doing ok, I figured it wouldn’t matter.

even if you’re doing ok keep taking your meds and keep taking care of yourself. follow yer gremlin rules.

I started pulling all nighters for school because I didn’t manage my time well, I started isolating, I started not eating enough or on a schedule, or healthy food.  

I came really close to having to go back to the hospital, I’m so thankful that I didn’t, but still.  Right now, I’m glad that those good behaviors that I had been using probably kept me out of the hospital and I’m making sure that I’m going to stick with the plan!


No gym, not home, not normalcy.

I’ve fallen off of the wagon a bit, I’ve managed to stay vegan, except for some MAYBE egg noodles that were put into a soup that someone lovingly made for me.

I mean, next time, I’ll make sure and ask them to use different noodles, but if they were already made, I didn’t know what the sense in wasting it was.  I feel like every time I accidentally eat non-vegan I should donate a 20 spot to farm sanctuary to alleviate any rumblings of guilt?


Anyway, I’m working on getting a Y membership on the cheap so that I can start going to the gym again.  I noticed that when I went I didn’t lose weight, but I didn’t feel so terribly drowsy from my hypothyroid.

I also need to get back on track with trying to run.  If I could run, I could have a simple way to exercise in a safe neighborhood away from home.  Unless of course whoever I’m staying with wants to go for a run with me and runs all fast and shit.  Fuck that.

I think I may have gotten kicked out of school, but I’m 23 fucking years old, it’s my problem so I’ll just figure it out.  I’ll maybe transfer to a different school for a semester and work on trying to get back in.  EMU would be a nice change, of course this would just make my debts sky rocket, but Whatever.



I ate a shitload of peanut butter cookies last night.  I am not about to calculate how many calories I ate, but I do know why I ate them.  I was stressed out that things weren’t going right, and I was dehydrated because lithium salts make me so thirsty.  I often fill my water bottle 5-6 times a day.  

Here’s what I’m not going to do.  I’m not going to get the recipe, look up nutritional values and then calculate the calories, and calculate how long i’d have to work out to “undo” this and panic until I get on my bike at 2am and ride for a few hours.


Instead, I’m going to Figgger it out.  I really don’t think I have a healthy relationship with sugar.  I have a terrible headache, I feel really moody, and I still crave it.  Refined sugar and it’s sexy friends sucanet and evap. cane juice and brown sugar do not belong in my body.  I think they increase my chance for binges and mood swings.

I think I’m going to kick sugar and coffee out of my life.  They go on the meat, dairy, soy and eggs list of foods i won’t eat.


Vegans that I find mildly annoying

I’m sick of my dashboard being filled up with shitty vegans who have complaints against veganism.  There’s a few different flavors:

  1. The Woe is me, my life is so hard because I’m vegan, boo hoo I take vitamins because I’m VEGAN. Posts like these just turn people away from veganism because they assume that it will make them unhealthy.  If you can’t get nutrients from your diet, you might want to say its because of your shit food habits/medical condition rather than an ethical lifestyle choice, unless you’re talkin’ about b12. 
  2. "I called a dozen food manufacturers and I still don’t know where this ingredient is sourced!!!!!!" It’s good that you’re trying to figure out if something is from animals, but you do realize that it’s a waste of your fucking time.  If whoeverthefuck’s confectioner’s glaze is from plants one week, it’ll probably be from bugs the next, save your breath and avoid.  
  3. "THINSPO THINSPO INTAKE THINSPO"  Trying to get an eating disorder is one thing, latching on to an environmental/ethical movement to disguise it is quite another.  (just to be clear here, I’m only talking about people without eating disorders that glamorize them because they think anorectics are good dieters)
  4. "If you’re vegan, and you *own pets* *feed pets meat* *squish bugs* *keep things from pre-vegan days* *use film with gelatin* *take hormonal birth control*  *take pills with gelatin capsules*  you’re a bad person."  This sentiment makes veganism seem so fucking nitpicky and impossible for any omnivore to deal with.  I feed my adopted neutered against his will (the shelter does that, but I would anyway) cat fuck tons of meatyass cat food because unlike a human he’s a motherfucking carnivore
  5. "mmmm coke, nestle, or some imperialist scummy fruit company"  These companies, sorry I couldn’t name the fruit company are doing horrible things to people/environment.  Vegans already boycott animal products, so why not boycott companies that are bad to people since people are in the kingdom animalia; they are animals.  I know it seems like a lot of stuff to boycott, but these companies don’t have the corner on the farmer’s market or the bulk bin at the grocery store*

*unless it is monsatan. 

I pulled an allnighter for an exam and I’m feeling feisty. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, unless you’re pro-ana—you might as well be pro-aids. 


Thyroid levels.

I have mixed feelings about my thyroid test levels.  I’m glad it wasn’t all in my head that I was feeling awful, but I’m also frustrated that my problem isn’t better from doing all the right things.

Ack, better go for a bike ride.


emmathompson64-deactivated20120 said: Y'know what? I didn't realize you had a link to your beef against soy. Haha, my bad! :D

Yeah, I have a thyroid condition, and I try to avoid overly processed foods.  I eat tamari, soy lectithin and soybean oil, but not soy flour.  


Do you guys have any tips for binge eating?


I haven’t had this problem in years, and i keep gaining weight.

his is how i know i am not fully recovered

  • Stop eating High Fructose Corn Syrup, White Flour and refined sugar (try to avoid it as best you can)  Use Maple Syrup, Brown Rice Syrup, Agave Nectar instead.
  • Stop eating so much flour (even whole grain) and eat more grains, like millet, brown rice, popcorn, corn on the cob, quinoa (flaked), etc. 
  • Eat more beans, black beans, pinto beans, etc.  
  • Stop keeping food around to binge on.  (I binge on golean crunch the health cereal, so I stopped buying it.
  • Don’t wait until you’re starving to eat!

Dried beans and grains are cheaper to buy at the store than most other stuff!!

(via lose90pounds-deactivated2013090)


How I manage my illness

I have had bipolar disorder for 4 years now.  I am still getting used to it.  Since I’m bipolar and ADHD routines are incredibly important for me as is staying organized.

Binder* (I play with my binder 10 minutes a day)

  1. I have two typed up papers in sheet protectors describing things I need to do every morning and every night.  I cross them off with dry erase marker as I accomplish them.
  2. I have a worksheet that I record my mood state on everyday.
  3. I have a calendar where I track my menstrual cycle and drug interactions.
  4. I have a copy of phone numbers of doctors, and people to call in case of emergency.
  5. I have a packing list of things to take to the hospital—it is VERY hard to pack when manic.

My Health Record:

I have a sheet with my master health record that I take with me on new doctor’s appts.  Let’s say your PDoc’s office burns down or ze loses your records.

  1. Insurance information including stepfather’s name and censored ss #
  2. Vaccine records
  3. Medications I have tried in the past and why they failed and what dose I took.  Don’t want to try the same shit twice!
  4. A record of medication dosage changes and why they were changed.
  5. My former doctors’ numbers
  6. My current doctors’ numbers
  7. My current medications and supplements list.

*I bring this with me to all doctor’s appointments and dentist appointments.  Anyone who will prescribe me a drug/inject me with something needs this information.  When my dentist prescribes me vicodin, I want hir to call my pdoc and ask if that is OK.

Other important stuff:

  1. exercise- It improves mood, and makes your body look better.  Your body is a beautiful table and exercise is just refinishing it.  It is/was/always will be beautiful, but when you exercise you’re showing your love for it through hard work.
  2. Eat well- If your mood is constantly up and down, and you’re making your blood sugar rocket up and down, it’s probably related.  
  3. Don’t do drugs- Best to not drink at all, you shouldn’t do it on meds. 
  4. Creative expression
  5. Leisure time.
  6. Social time with nice friends in a good setting.  If you’re feeling lonely and awful go out to lunch/make dinner with someone, don’t go to a party—you won’t get the attention you need.

before you ask a vegan your shitty hypothetical question about getting attacked in the woods by a bear


or being stranded on a desert island or needing meat to survive or something


No one wants to answer your hypotheticals and we’ve all heard them at least 64545 times before.

This has been a public service announcement.

Everyone knows the answer is “huff your own farts ‘till you die” anyway.

(Source: starfemme)

Tags: vegan